St Valentine

When: Every year on February 14

Valentine's Day is named after an early Christian martyr named Valentine. We know very little about him. The link with love and cards came much later, in the Middle Ages, and can be a day to show care to friends and family.

Where it came from

Early Christian lists of martyrs name at least one Valentine, a priest in Rome, buried on the Via Flaminia north of the city, and another, a bishop of Terni. Their stories were told long after, and may be about the same person. Around the year 496, Pope Gelasius wrote that Valentine was rightly honoured, even though his deeds were known only to God.

The idea of love and Valentine began in the 1300s. The English poet Geoffrey Chaucer wrote that birds choose their mates on St Valentine's Day, and people began to write love notes on that day. Printed cards followed in the 1800s.

A popular story says that Valentine's Day replaced an old Roman festival called Lupercalia. Historians say there is no good evidence for that link. In 1969, the Catholic Church removed Valentine from its worldwide calendar because so little is known about him, though local churches may keep him.

How it is kept around the world

• United States, United Kingdom and many countries. People exchange cards, flowers and sweets. Children make cards for classmates and family.
• The Philippines. Called Araw ng mga Puso, Day of Hearts. Many couples marry on the day in mass weddings, and families go out to eat together.
• Finland and Estonia. The day is mostly Friend's Day (Ystävänpäivä). People remember their friends.
• Slovenia. St Valentine is also remembered as the patron of spring, because by his day work in the fields and gardens starts.
• Italy. In Terni, where the bishop Valentine is said to be buried, there is a festival with a Mass and a promise of faithful love by couples.

Christians differ

Catholic, Orthodox and Anglican Christians remember Valentine as a martyr. Many Christians keep the day simply as a day to show love and kindness. Some Christians think it has become too commercial, or are uneasy about the stories around it. Because there is no strong link to older festivals, no one has to avoid it for that reason.

Do it together

Ages 0 to 2

• Make a heart shape with your hands and say “love” as you hug.
• Look at a picture of a family and name the people in it.

Ages 3 to 5

• Make a heart card for someone who helps you, and say thank you when you give it.
• Draw a picture of someone you love and say why.

Ages 6 to 8

• Write a card to someone who might be lonely, such as a neighbour or a grandparent.
• Find out what “love” means in your two favourite stories.

Ages 9 to 12

• Read 1 Corinthians 13 and choose three words that describe love. Which is hardest for you?
• Make a list of five small ways to show love without spending money.

Ages 13 to 17

• Read 1 John 4:7–12 and 1 Corinthians 13. What do they say love is, and what is it not?
• Think about friendships: how do you care for a friend who is struggling?

A short prayer

God of love, teach us to love our families and friends, and our neighbours, with kind words and kind acts. Amen.

Mark as done

Where this comes from

• Henry Ansgar Kelly, Chaucer and the Cult of Saint Valentine (Brill, 1986)
• Jack B. Oruch, “St. Valentine, Chaucer, and Spring in February”, Speculum 56 (1981): 534 to 565
• F. L. Cross and E. A. Livingstone, eds., The Oxford Dictionary of the Christian Church, 3rd ed. (Oxford University Press, 2005), entry “Valentine, St”
• 1 Corinthians 13 and 1 John 4:7 to 12

Written with AI assistance and checked against the sources listed. Please read it before sharing it with a child.