Disagreeing and forgiving

Ages 9 to 12 Read alone or together · about 35 minutes

Read together

Everyone disagrees sometimes. A disagreement is not a disaster. How we handle it matters.

Good steps: calm down first, listen to the other person, say how you feel using “I” words (“I felt hurt when ...”), look for a solution together, and say sorry if you were wrong.

Jesus taught that if someone wrongs you, go and talk to them privately (Matthew 18:15). He also taught us to forgive.

Do it

1. Think of a real disagreement, past or imagined. Write what happened from your side. Then write what the other person might say.
2. Practise with a partner using the steps. Use “I” statements and listen without interrupting.
3. Write a short note of apology or forgiveness for a situation you know of. Is it honest? Is it kind?
4. Talk about what forgiving means and does not mean: it does not mean pretending nothing happened, and it does not mean staying in danger.

Talk about it

• What helps you calm down?
• Is there someone you need to forgive or say sorry to?

For the grown-up

Forgiveness is a central teaching of Jesus, and it is also a skill that can be practised. It does not require children to stay with someone who hurts them. If your child is being bullied or harmed, step in to protect them. Be open about your own conflicts and how you resolve them.

Mark as done

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Where this comes from

• Gospel of Matthew 18:15 to 22; Letter to the Ephesians 4:26 to 32
• Roger Fisher and William Ury, Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In (Penguin, 1981)

Written with AI assistance and checked against the sources listed. Please read it before sharing it with a child.